Today, I’m grateful for being an emotional person I use to suppress and numb my emotions
Society told me as a little black girl I’m not allow to feel or express my emotions.
As a black woman my happiness and joy are often categorized as cocky and arrogant. My sadness as weak; my fears not valid; my anger even if I have the right to be angered, I’m labeled aggressive, ill tempered, illogical, overbearing, hostile, and ignorant.
Yes, I’m that person that cries at movies, plays, even at a commercial. I’m a person that feels other peoples pain. I’m also a black woman living in a society and country where I am expected and demanded to suppress my emotions to make others feel better no matter the cost to how I feel. Daily I’m hit with emotional triggers by the various media platforms , people, corporate and non-coporate systems but expected to not be an emotional being.
For years I suppressed my emotions because I viewed it as a weakness but as I mature it is a strength. It is my super power that helps me connect and build relationships but it is also my freedom to be me and embrace all of me.
Emotion is an energy and without having an outlet, it collects in the body. So the emotion which we are resisting is actually increasing our suffering by having the emotional energy being persistently present. Acknowledging and expressing our emotion we are no longer suffering by resisting and avoiding our emotional experience. Actually in turn allowing ourselves to experience the sensation of our emotions can increase our ability to tolerate the experience, making it gradually less scary and uncomfortable to experience uncomfortable and comfortable energy.
Most people think that expressing emotions is good for your mental and emotional health which is true but there is also an increasing amount of research that shows that expressing your emotions is also good for your physical health. Actively holding back my emotions was hard work which drained me mentally and physically. This negatively affected my immune system and some it even affects their heart and vascular systems, and even their brain and nervous systems.
The emotional environment we navigate throughout a day produces its own physiological feedback, just like how we nourish or neglect our physical body can affect how we feel psychotically. It is a part of the mind-body connection. Blocked and suppressed emotions have been linked to physical problems like heart disease, intestinal problems, headaches, insomnia, and autoimmune disorders.
Emotions are cues for other people to understand me more and relate to my experience. They are also cues for me to understand who I am as a person. By expressing my emotions, I’m giving other people important information related to who I am as a person, what I care about and value, and/or what I might be needing in certain moments. When I am authentic and allow my true emotions like sadness, pain, or fear be seen by others, it allows me to connect deeper and be more intimate with them.
We must stop telling people how and when to feel. Let people own their own emotions and embrace that emotion. And stop labeling people especially black woman when they express their emotions and embrace their feelings. And if you don’t like an emotion one expressed try figuring out the cause of that emotion and show empathy.
So Just know, I’m no longer suppressing my emotions for others Remember when you ask someone to not feel you are asking them to choose you over self.
Also when you label me or someone else because we express and embrace our emotions that is a reflection of you not me or them. Next time someone tells you how they feel allow them to own that feeling and don’t tell them what they can feel. Emotion is a subjective state of mind. Emotions can be reactions to internal stimuli (such as thoughts or memories) or events that occur in your environment.